Does God feel like me? Does He feel this wrenching feeling in His stomach at the thought of His
children. I am missing moments with them - my kids in Bolivia. I am missing when they get mad, when any learn something new, when they go through problems. I’m not there to
pray with them, to comfort them, to laugh or cry with them.
There is so much that I don’t know and so much yet to learn
through life experience but I wish more than anything that I could experience
it with my kids. I don’t necessarily want to be back in Bolivia, but I want to
be with my kids. My heart is torn. I love hot showers, variety in food, a
change in weather, a bug and mosquito free house and all the other millions of
blessings that come from living in the states. But I miss the cry of “teeCher!”
ringing from different houses, miss the wet kisses, I even miss the ache when one
of the kids won’t talk to me because he or she is hurting and I hurt for them
because I love them so much!
God must feel these things that I feel but even
deeper. He made me and every one of my kids. He knows every intricate detail of my and my kids lives, every secret sin, bad thought, silent joy, and a deep desire to please Him. He has
seen us at our weakest and lowest points. He loves us deeper than we can imagine and I don’t know how to
deal with the thought that while my heart aches when I think of my kids and I
cry thinking about the guilt I feel in not being able to be there for them and
love them for the rest of their lives, He loves them. He loves my kids more than I
ever could. So I cling to the thought that when I can’t be there to physically
hold my children and mend their brokenness, Jesus can.
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