Since I haven’t been in town for two weeks, I have a
pretty big blog update. I wrote down notes every few days and now I’m finally
able to upload it. J
8/31
I’m a teacher
Today I graded my 9th grader’s English test. I was extremely
optimistic when I gave them their test despite the warnings from the other sm’s
not to be because the students usually don’t study. I had reviewed the day
before with them everything we had learned in the past week that would be on
the test. I might have been a little overambitious by giving them a test after
only one week of teaching but I wanted to see how much they were learning. We
reviewed the days of the week, the date, a handful of verbs, all the colors and
the months in the year.
The results came back with extreme results. My ninth grade class had test scores
as low as 31% and as high as 108%. So what happened? Did I not prepare my
students well enough for their test? Am I a bad teacher? Did some of the
students not study and others did? Do I need to make each test according to
each students level? Is that being biased? How do you do differentiated
teaching in a class where there are no supplies or textbooks? Teaching is a
learning experience in itself. Here I thought I’d be teaching the students but
I think I’m learning just as much as they are.
In my 11th grade English class, I was trying to see what they knew
so. I was naming different vegetables in Spanish and my students were saying
them in English. I tried to say tomato in Spanish (tomate) and accidentally
said te mato which my students told me means “I kill you”. I had to pause what
I was teaching because one of my students had to lie down he was laughing so
hard. Trust me, the Spanish mistakes are endless. The best way to learn though
is from my mistakes and I know I won’t be making that one again.
9/01
In Bible class, Kepler ripped his pants again. I say again because this is the
third time this week that he’s ripped them in class. He asked to leave class to
change but he’d been so disruptive and I was slightly frustrated at him so I
told him that he had to wait until class was over before he could leave. He
showed me his pant which had about a three inch rip down the seam then started
laughing and I started laughing which caused chaos in the classroom so I let
him leave early to change.
09/03
How do parents parent?
It was cold on Sabbath. That’s something I thought I’d never
say while in Bolivia but it’s actually been cold a couple times in the three
weeks that I’ve been here. It is their winter season now but I definitely
didn’t pack for the cold and brought my light jacket just to wear in the
airport but I’ve ended up wearing it during the day and night when it’s been
cold. Yesterday night after vespers, lightening, thunder and dark clouds rolled
in and then the rain came. It didn’t rain too hard but everything was amplified
on the tin roofs. It’s actually a really comforting sound to sleep with rain
pinging on the roof.
Because of the rain this morning, we had our own house Sabbath school and I
liked the rain a little less because of it because instead of going to the
church for Sabbath school, we stayed in our house. Kim and I weren’t prepared
to give a Sabbath school lesson and the girls weren’t willing to listen or obey
and were quickly annoyed with each other and us.
My girls have been pushing boundaries all week trying to do
things that they know they aren’t suppose to do and going places without
permission. All of the volunteers signed papers last week saying that we are
completely responsible for the girls that live in our house and if anything
were to happen to them, we would be held responsible. Because of this, Kimberly
and I have been a little strict just because we need to know where they are.
I was frustrated because their attitude had been like this
for the past week and when we had to discipline them for going against the
mission rules, they became more defiant and angry until Kimberly and I had no
clue what to do. I’ve never been a parent and to suddenly be a mom to three
young children and ten pre-teenage or teenager girls has been a bit of a challenge.
I pulled an idea off the top of my head and had a group of
four girls each pick a story from the Bible and act it out. They’re really good
at being dramatic so I thought they’d get really into their story. It didn’t go
as planned though and after an argument began over who should go first because
no one wanted to, I quickly decided that we needed a change of plans. The girls
grudgingly acted out their stories with no enthusiasm and I made a mental note
to either never use the Bible story acting idea again or to test it out again
when there were better feelings in the room. After each story, I tried to ask
them why they chose the story and how they could apply it to their life. When
no one responded, I tried to use my limited Spanish skills to form an
application. My attempt probably would have been comical to the girls if they
hadn’t been sulking. Well, nothing worked and since there was still twenty minutes
left of Sabbath school, I sent them all to their rooms to have some personal
Bible study time and I went to my room to have some Jesus time and pray that
the rain would stop so that we could go to church and get out of the house.
For my own personal devotions, I started reading in my
prayer journal what I had written before I had come to Bolivia. I found some
really good advice that one of my friends at camp had given me before camp
ended and I had come to Bolivia. He had been a student missionary at one point
too and he had said that when it’s hardest to love the kids that I’m serving
and when my love towards them is not returned – love harder because that is
when they need it most. And the true meaning of selfless love is to love
without expecting to be loved in return. That’s some pretty good advice that I
think I’ll remind myself of when it is hard to love my girls when they roll
their eyes at me or speak fast to each other in Spanish so that I won’t
understand what they’re saying.
Anyways, reading that reminded me to pray that God would
fill me up with His love to show to my girls because without His love, I can’t
love them on my own. And while some days are more challenging than others and
everything doesn’t end up as a happily ever after like I would always like it
too, God is constant and I know He’ll always be with me and give me the love
that I need to love my girls fully.
9/4
Where the lice at?
I have to say, I am very surprised that I don’t have lice
yet…. Or at least that I know of. Getting lice has been one of my biggest fears
especially since the youngest girl in my house, Maribel, has lice eggs in her
hair and all the girls share their combs and clothes with each other. As the
weeks have gone on, a lot of the kids have become more attached. I get hugs all
the time, which is the high light of my day and the girls like to lay their
head on my shoulder or against my head. I can’t say that my fear is any smaller
at this point of getting lice, but Lindsey, one of the other SM’s, says that
it’s not if I get lice, it’s when I’ll get it. So for right now it’s my goal
(And my mom’s goal I’m sure) to put off getting lice until after I return to
Bolivia from my sisters wedding in October. (Her wedding is less than a month
away and I am so excited!)
Did I mention that it’s been really cold here? I’m currently wearing two pairs
of socks, long pants and my sweatshirt plus I’ve been carrying my blanket
around with me this whole day.
On Sundays is when most of the volunteers get to go into town for the day to
get Internet and buy things. I get to go into town three out of the four weeks
but this Sunday was my day to stay at Familia Feliz. Since it was drizzling,
the kids stayed inside and did homework during the morning, which was pretty
calming. I found a 501 Spanish verbs book and went around asking the 11th
graders to explain different verb tenses to me, which turned out to be amusing
because none of them knew how to explain their own language. I understand
though because I’m struggling to figure out how to teach the word “do”. It’s
randomly inserted in questions but not translated in Spanish. “Do you want to
eat?” = “Quieres comer”. No “do” word in sight. English is weird.
09-06
Let it be known, I am not that great at Math. I did great on Algebra in high
school. I loved that class! But once I got into college, my Math skills
plummeted. However, last night during study hall, one of the children asked me
to help him multiply 9 to the 9th power (9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9) for his
homework. Multiplying 9’s is one thing but trying to help someone multiply and
explain it in Spanish was a new experience in itself. It took us around 20
minutes since I’ve never multiplied numbers that high without using a
calculator. I was proud of us when we were done but I’m not even 100% sure the
answer was correct.
Near the end of study hall, all of the children were super cold. I was cold but
I had a jacket. A lot of the kids don’t have jackets or long pants so I felt
terrible when I was going around helping students with their homework and
seeing them shiver. I tried to give most of them hugs to warm them up but that
only helps for so long. I wish I had enough money to go and buy every student a
jacket who doesn’t already have one. I don’t want to wish it to be warm again
because I’ll definitely regret that wish but for the kids sake, I wish it were
warmer for them.
In the last five minutes of study hall though, one of the
boys, Bisma (Which sounds a whole lot like Yzema from the movie Emperor’s New
Groove), had the terrible idea of getting one of the embers from the cooking
fire outside and putting it in his hands. He then proceeded to toss it from one
hand to the other so that it would keep his hands warm but not burn them. That
got out of hand really fast (pun) when the little boys started noticing and
asking if they could play with the fire too so I had to send Bisma outside
until he left the ember in the fire where it was suppose to be.
09/07
Today I figured out something about my 9th grade English class that
helps me understand that students so much better. I have six students in that
class and they’re all pretty well behaved but Armando is always so restless in
class and I’ve began to realize that it’s because he catches on really fast. So
when I’m re-explaining an English concept that I’ve already taught to the class,
he is disinterested because he already understands what I’m saying. He asked me
today how old I thought he was. I guessed that he was 16 because that’s how old
the other two boys are while the two girls are 14 and 15. As it turns out, he’s
12. I have a 12 year old 9th grader! He told me that he plans on
graduating when he’s 15 and then studying at the university to be an English
translator AND a businessman. That blows my mind that he’s so young! Now the
next question is, how can I keep him engaged in class by teaching him more
information so that he’s not bored while not neglecting the rest of my class?
There’s been a problem with my class starting late because the students take
their time coming then getting chairs. (When they move to different classrooms
for different subjects, they take their chairs with them so in the morning,
they have to go around looking for a chair to use in my class.) Starting this
past Monday, I started assigning homework to those who came to class late and
it completely fixed the problem. Everyone is always on time and I get my full
40 minutes to teach them English before they scamper off.
They were completely confused today though when I arranged
their seats facing each other, didn’t start off class by asking them to tell me
the date and day in English but instead handed them a menu that I had created.
Listed were different types of salads with descriptions of what was on each
salad, entrées, drinks and desserts. I pretended to be their waitress and when
they asked me a question in Spanish I gave them a blank look and said, I’m
sorry. I don’t understand. Please speak to me in English.” They ordered drinks
from the menu and I passed out cups that I had taken from our kitchen. Then they
ordered their entrée and I passed out forks and plates and asked someone to
pray for the imaginary food. They were loving the game thoroughly until I asked
someone to pray then they all looked a little nervous until Armando volunteered
himself. After being reassured that he didn’t have to say a long prayer he
closed his eyes and said, “Dear Jesus, thank you food and good day and evening.
Thank you this class and what we eat. That is all.” I guess I need to teach
them a lesson on prepositions but that’ll come way later in the school year. I
was proud of him for being brave enough to be the first one in the class to
pray in English.
Once the main “food” was served, they ordered dessert but I actually had Oreos
for them that I had bought for them. They were ecstatic and Armando kept on
saying how much he loved English class. Child, you like English class because I
brought you food. But I think he actually likes my class and that’s good
because I really like teaching their class.
9/07
What a day. I think I realized today just how amazing my
childhood was and how much innocence I had growing up. None of my girls have
been privileged to have grown up so innocent. I don’t know many of their
stories yet but one of my girls who is normally so cheerful and loving had a
down day. I understand, we all have those days but this was a lot more serious
than just feeling sad. Miguel informed Kimberly and me about her past the week
before, how she had been raped twice and how she was sexually abused at home. It was awful to hear Miguel tell
us all of these things and I wanted to go find her and just hug her and try to
make all the pain and confusion go away. Today she came and sat by me as I was
reading a book on the back porch during free time and said that she was really
sad and that she had so many problems in her life. Then she climbed over the
railing and said she was going to jump off and end it all. It was so sudden
that I was very surprised and told her that was a terrible idea because she
would only break both her feet by jumping from the second story. I held on to
her from behind and tried to ask her what was wrong, why she was feeling bad
and how I could help her. When she didn’t respond I tried to tell her how
important she is to me, how I’ve only been at Familia Feliz for a short time
but she already has a special place in my heart. It would have been so much
easier if we had been talking in English. After ten minutes of repeating myself
her face completely changed and she laughed while she climbed back over the
railing and said of course she wasn’t going to harm herself and that she was
fine. Um, that seems like the last thing to do or say if you’re fine. I told
Kim about it and we were extremely puzzled.
That night after we returned to our house from worship in
the church, she disappeared. The girls are really good at tattle tailing but it
actually was very helpful this time because they said they had seen her take
the path to the creek. Kim and I headed down to the river and saw her sitting
on a fallen down tree crying. I’m terrible at consoling people who are crying.
I don’t know what to do and so since Kim knows Spanish fluently, I let her sit
down to talk to her. Long story short, I had to go put my girls to bed but Kim
sat outside with her for a good hour and just listened and prayed as this girl
said she didn’t think God loved her because if He loved her, why would He let
so many bad things happen to her? Why would a loving God allow all of her
problems to happen? Kim was in the same boat as me. We both just got to Familia
Feliz almost four weeks ago. We’re still trying to form relationships with the girls;
we know hardly anything about them, their background or how they grew up.
Everything that they know is so different from what we know that it’s really
hard to understand what some of these girls have been through. Kim finally got
her back to the house and to bed then we discussed what had happened for a good
half hour before praying together about it and going to bed. We talked to
Miguel about it and he said he would talk to her. That morning in my 9th
grade English class, she was very quiet and wouldn’t look or talk to me. I
thought she was angry that Kim and I had talked to Miguel because we had seen
him talking to her that morning. At lunch, however, she was her normal cheerful
self and came and gave me a big hug like she usually does. She may seem like
her old self, but Kim and I are keeping an eye on her and praying for her and
for ourselves so that we can know what to do and what to say to help her. I’ve
never dealt with anything like this before and I’m just praying that God will
help me know what to do if a situation like this ever happens again.
9/10
Yesterday during Friday chores, my girls were
all cleaning the house and putting water on the cement floors then sweeping the
water outside. I was so confused the first time I saw them doing this but now
it’s become a regular Friday afternoon cleaning job. They were in the middle of
cleaning when I made an error and mentioned that I was hot. It wasn’t two
minutes after that when I was doused by a bucket of water. That’s when our
indoor water fight began. Normally, you would never have a water fight inside
but since the living room only has two chairs and a wooden sofa, I figured it
was the perfect place to have it. There was lots of screaming, slipping and
splashing and in the end we were all soaked but happy. Then Kimberly came back
from her short walk that she had taken from the mission where she had bought popsicles
for the girls. We discovered the place just two days before. The lady takes
milk or a sour type of fruit called tamarindo in Spanish and puts it in little
bags and freezes it. They’re only 1 boliviano so they’re pretty cheap (About
7Bs = $1) so Kimberly and I pulled our money to buy a treat for the girls.
After the girls had soaked Kimberly as well, we called them all into the living
room then gave them their surprise and we all sat on the back porch eating our
popsicles until we had sticky fingers but happy stomachs.
On Sabbath, I preached my first sermon. I had Miguel translate for me but after
church was done he said he had thought I was going to preach in Spanish. Thanks
for believing in me but I am nowhere near being able to write let alone preach
a whole sermon in Spanish. I told him that maybe I could by the end of the
year. He said that he’d look forward to my Spanish sermon in December. What? No…..
Ok then, I have three months to learn Spanish really fast and really well in
order to preach a full sermon in Spanish.
